It was brought to my attention recently that people all around me were struggling in their interpersonal relationships. Then as I analyzed these people's lives it occurred to me that something huge was happening in each of these situations that was causing stress and frustration in all parties concerned. I could see that it was wasting so much time creating huge amounts of negative energy.
In each situation there was a massive confusion with Criticism and Correction!
There is a chasm of difference between these two words and people confuse them all the time. Let me see if I can help clarify the proper use of these words and at the same time offer some thoughts on effective application of these life-changing attitudes.
We all have had someone criticize us at one time or another. It hurts and it stings. What often happens is someone may offer some helpful advice or correction to another and they confuse that with criticism and respond accordingly, usually in a negative matter.
I believe it is very important to receive correction with a good attitude. Many times, though, we are blind to the areas where we need to improve or where we have missed the mark, and it may require a good friend, or a spouse or a co-worker, a boss, or a parent - someone seeing things from an entirely different perspective - to recognize that one of our behaviors is a little out of whack and bring it to our attention.
When that "brave soul" brings a word of correction it is because they want to see us change and grow, and it is vital that we respond to it with a proper attitude. It is not the time to get offended and withdraw because you think you are being criticized.
If you are the one who believes you need to correct someone, you might be a bit unsure of how to go about it because you don't know how the other person is going to react. One way to be sure you start things off right, is to make sure you gain someone's permission before you start the correction process. Gaining agreement that they are wanting the information and that they will hear it with an open mind will go a long way towards there being a successful outcome.
Everyone wins when this little step is implemented into the conversation. Just ask! Simply gain their permission. It naturally blocks the negative thinking and the feelings of criticism. This one little step will save you massive amounts of time and energy!
