Most people have heard the saying ''curiosity killed the cat'' and this has lead to all kinds of meanings being constructed. For some people it will have been interpreted to mean that being curious is dangerous and others may simply dismiss it as just an old saying.
But regardless of this saying, curiosity is not always seen in a positive light. In some cases, it is seen as intrusive. And it is then vital that one avoids being curious; as a way to avoid unpleasant consequences.
The Variations
While it is clear to see that curiosity can be something that does result in unpleasant consequences, there are also many benefits to being curious. Children are generally curious about anything and everything. It is part of their natural innocence and how they learn about the world and themselves
Their intentions are pure and free from ulterior motives. They are curious for the sake of being curious and not because they are trying to gain or achieve anything in particular
And as someone gets older, this typically gets left behind. Here, one can lose their child like quality of being interested in the simple and complex things that life has to offer. As a result of this, one can become disconnected and lose interest in life.
Being Interesting
If one has lost this ability, that is both natural and powerful, it can become normal to want to be someone who is interesting. Through doing this, one can believe that people will want to know them and be interest in who they are.
And in some ways this is great idea; it certainly works for some people who are famous for instance. However, it doesn't always work; especially if someone is not famous or a person of great status. At a fundamental level, we are all selfish and only do what we do because of the personal benefit that is gained.
While someone can enjoy listening to another talk about themselves, in most cases, people would rather talk about their own life. And this is why being interesting doesn't always lead to an increase in how many friends one has or to deeper relationships being formed.
Doing The Opposite
So the obvious thing to do when it comes to being influential or connecting to more people is to be interesting. And to be interested in others may not even be considered and can then end up being overlooked. One of the reasons is probably due to people being out of touch with their natural ability to be curious. But if one can get back in touch with this ability that they have had from the moment they were born, a lot of wonderful things can occur.
It might be normal to be curious around people that one wants something from, but this is very different to being naturally curious. To be naturally curious means that one is just interested in people. There is no goal in mind or something that one is trying to achieve; the act itself is fulfilling.
Curiosity
One can be curious about what someone is wearing, how they have spent their day, what brings them joy and what their passions are. The context that one is in or how the other person comes across, will often define what one can be curious about.
When one is in this curious state, there are no limits to what one can say to other people. A common challenge that someone can have in talking to others is in knowing what to say and being curious can solve this.
Balance
However, if one is only curious and is asking all the questions, it can come across as interrogation. So this is a process that's needs to be balanced with one asking questions and sharing certain parts of their own life.
And this relates to being vulnerable; as one opens up about themselves, it can encourage others to do the same.
Action
To get back in touch with ones natural curiosity can take time. Perhaps someone can remember how curious they were as a child and begin see life in this way once more. And if one typically waits for people to come to them or has spent a lot of time and effort in becoming interesting, it may feel unnatural to shine the spotlight on other people.
At first one may even feel that they that they are neglecting their needs and wants, but through staying with this new approach, the interest will soon be returned. In some cases the other person will return the interest and then there will other times where people don't.
This could be due to a number of reasons and one doesn't have to take this personally. It could be that they are just self centred and unaware of the need to give and take.
So being curious can take time, but like anything it will soon become second nature. As one becomes more interested in others, it will often result in one becoming more interesting to others.
Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."
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