What is it that you wake up and think about in the middle of the night? When you catch yourself day dreaming where have you projected your mind in that moment? Are you thinking of anything good or do you find yourself in the middle of your problems?
Are you having imagined conversations with someone who has upset you and do you find yourself dwelling on what is wrong in your life? Do you go over and over the same scenarios and wish things were different and do you replay the past and live with regrets?
Now first let me say, if you do, that's normal. You can't avoid thinking about things that upset you or that have turned your life upside down. That is not what I'm suggesting. Negative situations involve more thinking and you have to process the information. I call it getting your head back on straight. Plus, negative emotions are stronger than positive emotions.
There was a study done where some people lost $100 dollars and the other half was given $100 dollars. The excitement over receiving $100 was much less than the worry and angst over losing $100.
You also have to devise a way out of your situation or figure out how you are going to handle whatever it is that has occurred. But, it's when you begin to obsess over it is when it snowballs into something bigger than itself.
Remember, it's okay to take a little bit of time in the beginning to process certain situations. As a matter of fact talking it out is much better than holding it in. Talk to your friends and family until their advice actually sinks in. Taking time to walk through your emotions is healthy and it's a necessary walk to get to the other side of the proverbial tunnel.
But, as I was saying, the problems begin when you get stuck and all you do is dwell on whoever or whatever happened to upset you; you eat, drink and breathe it.
And, no one can sustain themselves on worry, fear, jealousy, bitterness and water under the bridge. As a matter of fact when you do this it affects all aspects of your life.
It physically changes your complexion and your looks. (Just what you need to be less attractive and miserable!) Have you ever noticed someone that looks sad or angry? How do you know? My point exactly!!
It also affects your work, your attitude, your happiness and your health; not to mention how it impacts those around you.
So instead of asking "why" did this happen to me, it's time to ask yourself "how" can I move on from here? Once you've decided how you are going to live moving forward and what you are going to do, each time you find yourself walking down the same old Whining Road, stop yourself and change your mind.
Instead when you catch yourself picturing in your mind that person, or event or situation, you have to consciously stop yourself and picture something else. I don't know what it will be, but whatever it is, DO NOT continue to focus on what is making you feel bad or aggravated or angry or hurt.
Picture what you would rather your life to look like. Or place your thoughts on projects or things you want and need to do. Imagine what your life would look and feel like without blah-blah-blah in it. But, whatever you choose to think about DO NOT make thinking of this one thing the ONLY thing you think about.
Being one dimensional isn't healthy and it's so boring. Whoever or whatever happened to you doesn't define you but how you handle it does.
Doesn't it makes sense to picture what you do want instead of dwelling on what you don't want and constantly thinking about what makes you feel bad?
Whoever or whatever happened to you isn't your whole life. Think about it, walk through it and then let it go.
Whenever you lose in life, it's more important not to lose the lesson!
Do you want to live a better life or do you just want to talk about it? Susan Russo is an author and coach whose direct approach is a wake-up call for those who are sleep walking through life. Susan is fast becoming known as the go-to coach to transform your attitude towards life! Find out how to wake up each day and enjoy your life!
