The Great News Is I'm Weird - Part 2 of 2

Yesterday's post showed just how weird I am. By the end of today's post, you'll know why being weird is great, and how to embrace your own inner weirdness.

How does the weirdness I told you about yesterday play-out in real life?

Some people look at me blankly when I tell them what I do (helping people who love the sea to upgrade their lives), and say "Wouldn't you be better off getting a job in marine conservation" or "Does anyone else feel like you do about being at the coast?" They don't get it, and that's absolutely fine. They go talk to someone else and enjoy their conversation about their passion, and we're all happy with that outcome.

But the fantastic outcome, is that when I mention it to people who do get it, boy they really get it! We chat for hours and both have a feeling of "I'm OK, you're OK"; we often get all excited talking about the sea, or fish, or diving; and we both go away from with big smiles on our faces, feeling energised.

Now what would have happened if I'd pretended I was different to how I am? I wouldn't have connected to the other off-beat person, and the first person would have unconsciously sensed I wasn't being myself and felt uncomfortable without knowing why.

Multiply that one occasion by several weeks, months, years, or a lifetime. All that time I'd be wasting lots of energy hiding my real self, and I'd be missing out on 1,000s of opportunities to do things I enjoy, to do things I'm good at, to spend time with people who get me, and so on.

What does all this have to do with you?

When you take that plunge and say "Here I am world, take it or leave it", you get to stop wasting your time & energy on things that give you a sinking feeling, and instead spend your time and energy on connecting with people and life choices that do float your boat.

Are there risks in that? Sure. Will you have to deal with change? Yes. Is it going to be uncomfortable or painful? Possibly. But look at the rewards:

greater happiness;

less guilt & loneliness;

more fun;

more energy;

less feeling all at sea;

more external success, as you match what you do with what you love.

Making it real

Looking back over your week, in what situations did you squash your real self to avoid seeming weird, or to fit in?

What would have felt liberating to say or do instead?

How can you connect with people, ideas, or activities that encourage you to express the real you?

Care to share what makes you "weird" in the comments section below, or to email me if you want to keep things confidential? I'd love to hear about the things, ideas, & attitudes that make you wonderfully unique.

Remember, every time you take the step of claiming your you-ness, others appreciate it, and feel able to do the same.

My coaching has helped people: enjoy free-time & family-time despite busy lives; get more customers; be more confident; know their priorities and live by them; deal with stressful life events; earn money doing what they love; bring the sea into their lives; uncover what's been holding them back and stop doing it; and more.

The sea is in all aspects of my life, from my coaching (I help people who love the sea to get the lives and businesses they want); through my spare time (I scuba dive & volunteer); and into my home (I'm sewing, crafting & up-cycling to give my home a beach hut look).

I practise tithing, i.e., giving 10% of my pre-tax income: by donating to marine charities, & via selected pro-bono coaching.

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The Great News Is I'm Weird - Part 1 of 2

By the end of this post, you'll know just how weird I am & why being myself! Come back again tomorrow for why being weird is great, and how to embrace your own inner weirdness.

The other day I heard a podcast discussion between three unusual, bright, successful women.
One of them mentioned how things had really taken-off since she "stopped pretending to be normal", and let-out her real self. She'd had ideas about what she wanted to do in her business, but worried that if she went with them, all her customers would think she was weird and they'd go elsewhere.

What actually happened was that people loved her honesty & authenticity - many of them had been hiding their own unique qualities, ideas, and ways of being. So when she opened-up and was her true self, they all felt able to do the same, and her number of customers skyrocketed.

I felt a huge burden lift off my shoulders as I listened, and I thought "Why not do the same?"

So, here are a few ways I'm weird:

1. I don't watch tv

2. I'm inspired & energized by the sea, diving, sea-life, being at the coast, 60s surf culture, people who sail round the world, beach huts, coastal bird-watching, photos of coastal homes, & so on

3. In my ideal world, everyone's first goal would be to fully understand themselves

4. I always dress in pink or purple

5. I sometimes blame other people when my life isn't going the way I want it to (yes I see the irony given what I just in No. 3!)

6. I hate shopping & would rather spend the time playing with my cats or chatting with my husband

7. I have a Business & Life Coach

8. Maintaining a healthy climate influences lots of my decisions

9. I can get irritable & mean with the people I love the most

10. I don't think buying unnecessary stuff or a flash car or a bigger house is the way to happiness

11. I get scared about the future & worry at 3am

12. My confidence goes up & down

13. I like both classical music and Public Enemy

14. I understand that happiness is different from fun or pleasure

15. I'm often out-of-step from mainstream views, so I sometimes feel lonely

16. When doing something that scares me, I often procrastinate on it

17. I see a Counsellor

18. I enjoy arty films and Will Ferrell comedies

19. I have no interest in celebrities

20. I'm a vegetarian

Come back again tomorrow for why being weird is great, and how to embrace your own inner weirdness. In the meantime, what are your thoughts on weirdness? Please use the Comments section below, or feel free to email me.

My coaching has helped people: enjoy free-time & family-time despite busy lives; get more customers; be more confident; know their priorities and live by them; deal with stressful life events; earn money doing what they love; bring the sea into their lives; uncover what's been holding them back and stop doing it; and more.

Lead a happier, more fulfilled life with my sea-soaked life tips: http://YourSeaChangeLife.com/blog/

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Are New Year's Resolutions Really Such a Great Idea?

Why are New Year's resolutions so infamously hard to keep? What makes all those great intentions disappear so quickly? Are we really such fickle creatures, or is New Year's Day maybe not the smartest time to introduce meaningful changes into our lives?

The truth, of course, is that it simply doesn't matter which particular day we choose to implement positive changes, so New Year's Day is just as good as any other. What matters profoundly is our state of mind when we plan such changes, and in this regard, the festive season often proves less than ideal.

Suppose for example you were planning to quit smoking. The cognitive process that leads you to make such an important decision really wants to be firmly rooted in an objective assessment of the pros and cons of quitting versus doing nothing. This decision will impact primarily on your ordinary, mundane day-to-day life - and so that's where it's best taken.

You need to have a coping strategy in place so that when that time of day comes around, when you would normally leave the office and join your fellow addicts out on the street for a cigarette, you know exactly what you're going to do instead. Otherwise, you're sure to trigger some pretty uncomfortable feelings of deprivation and loss.

In this and many other situations, a plan that was painstakingly formulated in the cold light of day is likely to prove infinitely more enduring than one you cobbled together on a well-intentioned impulse, whilst riding high on a wave of seasonal joy.

In fact, it's rarely a good idea to make big decisions while on holiday. It's far too easy to get overly energized by the convivial atmosphere and forget that, in order to achieve your goals, you need to carry that resolve forward through the mundane drudgery of everyday life.

And realistically, what are the chances of that determination you feel whilst dancing the night away with old friends, still being with you on Monday morning as you reluctantly commute into work with a gigantic hangover?

Now, I'm not arguing that people shouldn't bother with New Year's resolutions, just that they should think through the sincerity and strength of their motivation before attempting any significant changes.

There are three basic questions I ask all of my smoking cessation clients:

How (long have you been thinking of quitting)?What (is the worst temptation you're likely to face, and what coping strategy are you planning to use to overcome it)?Why (do you really want to quit)?

How, what and why... Before committing to your resolution, try asking yourself those vital questions! And if you still feel confident and adequately motivated to follow through, then by all means go for New Year's Day. But otherwise, why not consider rescheduling?

After all, there's nothing wrong with a well-planned and executed resolution that begins on 1st February - just so long as it works!

Paul R Mather is a certified hypnotherapist and the owner of Cerulean Therapies, a company specializing primarily in helping people to quit smoking. For a free download designed to help with New Year's Resolutions, please visit http://www.quitclever.co.uk/hypnotherapy.php

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