The sweat drips from my body onto the mat, already wet from 70 minutes of Hot Bikram Yoga. Yuk!! And now the teacher is imploring me and every other student in the session to 'let go' of the attachment we've made to the last posture. "Just let it go. It's over! Relax in savasana".
Savasana is a yoga position where you lie on your back on your mat completely still - still mind, still body. This in itself is really difficult - one wants to scratch, wipe the sweat away, and sense a muscle, the mind full of 'stuff'- random thoughts such as - "what's for supper?" "I must look at that... " "How's that presentation coming on?" "I wonder how my daughter is?"
But the greater temptation is to attach value and judgement to my efforts in the last posture! "Was it better than last time?" "Had I taken on board comments from the teacher and improved?" "Was I having a good/bad day?" "I wish I had made more effort at... ". So 'letting go' is the last thing I really want to do; I want to look back and indulge my emotions and not be in the present moment. Letting go of what has happened is such a difficult exercise. We hang on to thoughts, good and bad, as if our life depended on it. But once something is over, it's over - there is nothing you can do about it, it's over. You can understand the things you've learned from the experience and move on. Dwelling in a negative sense on something which is past has no merit. Understanding the importance of 'letting go'... and actually doing it... creates space and calm.
Many years ago I came across a poem attached to the wall of a café in Tasmania, a remote and sparsely populated island state in Australia. It was a list of such lovely exhortations with a positive spin, found in such a bizarre place, it begged to be copied and studied. There are many examples of 'letting go' that come to mind and those who read this column may begin to reflect on their own circumstances, their own experiences.
In the jobs we do, roles we undertake, companies we work for, we all make many and varied attachments. Since the 1990s, redundancy has sadly become a normal feature of the working environment; "Sorry, Simon, we're going to have to 'let you go'." After all the emotional turmoil these few words induce has eventually subsided, you understand that 'letting go' is not to deny, but to accept; accept that the decision's been made, look forward and hopefully you begin to feel free - but the key to that freedom is realistically looking at the attachments you made to that role, that job, that company, and letting them go, permanently.
As humans we are naturally driven towards establishing relationships; relationships wax and wane as sure as the phases of the moon. Sometimes ending a relationship is really really tough. And to 'let go' of the relationship requires one not to judge, but to allow the other to be a human being, to allow them to affect their destinies, to face reality. Easy to say, not easy to do; it hurts, letting go, but once you do a great sense of relief floods the body and mind.
I wanted Tom my Labrador dog to live forever!! He was so lovely, so gorgeous, but as he grew older and older I had to face the reality that life is finite, and in his case I would probably have to decide for him that his pain-free, carefree existence was over. Letting go of the negative memories of making that final decision and agonising over whether it was the right one (the "If only... "!) have allowed me to be thankful for the life that he had and the love that he gave.
We so often dwell in the past, where are memories are stored, and forget to try and live in the present, like in the savasana position in yoga. And there's a tendency to sometimes regret decisions we've made, paths we've taken, - "If only I had... ". Free yourself by 'letting go' and not regretting the past, but to grow and live for the future.
I recently 'down sized' to an apartment which has little storage space. I knew I had to 'let go' of things. In this case not take them to some half-way stage, a self-storage unit, a sort of 'left luggage', but to sell them, give them away, take them to the council tip. How hard was it? In reality, not too bad; if I hadn't used something for 5 years, it went. Furniture that didn't fit or was wrong for the place got sold, given away, painted. Books I had bought but never read, some I had read and were never going to read again, went to the Charity shop. Clothes went to same way. And gradually light and air is beginning to circulate within the enlarged space.
There are few more important guiding principles to the way we approach our lives than taking on board the exhortations of 'letting go'. As my daily yoga practice encourages me to 'let go' of those attachments I've made to a past posture and still the mind, outside of the studio those words found on the wall of the faraway café can bring a positive affect to anyone who cares to read them. Of course 'take each day as it comes, and cherish oneself in it.' and 'try to become what I dream I can be.' But above all try to stop being fearful, be "fear less", learn to truly relax "and love more."
Talking about relevant issues can help to let them go. Engaging a coach to assist can be a great step forward. Email at richard@richardyatesconsulting.com for more information.
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