The Power of Visualization - 3 Strategies to Turn What You Visualize Into Reality

An Ice Cream Sundae With Anchovies

As you read this vivid description of an ice cream sundae visualize, in your mind's eye, every tasty morsel, right down to the very last detail.

Start with a large scoop (or two) of the best, homemade, rich, creamy, sweet, ice cream. Ladle on delicious hot fudge, or caramel, maybe strawberry, and then sprinkle on nuts, or candy pieces, or maybe chunks of moist brownie. You choose. Next, add a mountain of smooth whipped cream. And now for the piece de resistance. You guessed it-Anchovies!

If you have a vivid imagination, you had no trouble visualizing this sweet, delectable treat. Even if your powers of imagination are limited or stymied, you still were able to imagine an ice cream sundae with fish on top. If you can imagine that, see it clearly in your mind's eye, even taste this concoction of conflicting tastes, you have the power within you to visualize and imagine anything and everything you want in your life.

Tip #1 - Make It Real

When you see something clearly in your mind's eye, it has the potential to become real. It creates a belief that allows for the vision to go from abstract to concrete, from a dream to a goal, and from a goal to achievement, success and joy. What you see or imagine must be vivid, precise, detailed and exactly what you want to achieve, receive, and believe. Add as much detail as you can, include everything from the size, the shape, the color, the location, the cost/price, everything. Make it as real as possible.

Tip #2 - Be in the Present

Whatever you are visualizing, intending to manifest in your life, must be seen in your mind in the present tense.You have to see it happening now, see yourself holding it in your hand now, see yourself getting the promotion or the pay raise now, or holding the love of your life in your arms now. If you see things in your future, you have just visualized something beyond your reach. The only tangible thing you have in your life is the now. The future may never come. Now is the key.

Tip #3 - Night and Day

The best way to visualize something into manifestation is to see it constantly, in the morning when you wake, at points throughout your day, and at night before you go to sleep. The good news is that it doesn't have to take every minute of your day. You can bring about change, positive, good change by spending 15-20 seconds thinking about and seeing the change you want and desire. That's all the time it takes but must be done often throughout your day, everyday until your desired outcome is at hand, until you have brought that outcome to fruition simply because you believed in the outcome and literally saw it through to reality.

Follow this tips and you will see your way to more joy, happiness, love, and success in your life.


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The Psychology of Success: Make It Work For You

In every field that we conquer, there is always a psychology of success to achieve your goal. This is the process or method that you can employ to make things or certain endeavor work for you. Every challenge you take in there is always a way of making it a success. You only need to know how to do it or what makes it a success. If you are having a school work where you need to present your project in front of many people, and you need to do it as it will be defining moment for you to pass the subject and graduate. However, let us take for example that you have an issue about stage fright. You are not confident in facing the crowd as you are afraid to make mistakes or get humiliated. In this case, you do not have any option but to conquer your fear. How are you going to do it?

An aspiring manager who needs to submit and present a new design project, so he can fill in the vacancy, but does not have the confidence to be in the crowd or being confronted with a lot of questions as he is scared of not being able to answer it. Since he aspires to fill in the managerial position, he doesn't have any choice but to do it. What is he going to do?

These are the common issues of people who have stage fright or afraid to be in between a group of people. There are always ways, effective ways to conquer and resolve these issues. You cannot run or hide because it is your future that is at stake. You cannot stammer or fail to answer as you will be judged according to your presentation and the way you answer questions. Anxiety is a common issue. It is a normal thing to feel but excess of it will cause your brain to malfunction. You need to cope up with it so you will be able to clear your mind from all doubts and confusion. You can think more and be brighter if your mind is energized. There are ways on how to achieve this and avoid any risk of not achieving your goals.

If you are tasked to present something, you need to be prepared. Preparation is absolutely the key to everything. Normally, the school project is given a week or a month before the time so prepare it before the deadline. Start planning the moment you received the task. This is basically the easiest way to do it. So, the remaining days extra will be used in practicing rather than cramming. When you are fully prepared you are ready for anything. The questions of your teacher will not go anywhere except on the project you have presented so what could go wrong if you have mastered it. Absolutely, nothing can go wrong for a person who is fully prepared.

You need to sound confident and look like you know everything, and you basically know what you are talking about. When you have mastered everything, discussing or presenting it will be easier as you do not have to memorize anything but just share what you have prepared. Most of the time, people will no longer ask but rather be astounded with how great your present your work thus achieving success. Explain things in a simpler way do not use words that even you do not really understand. Be simple and be real and everything will fall into place. You will achieve the success you have always wanted. This is the basic psychology of success.

Click Here to download your FREE "Secrets Of The Subconscious" package. It normally sells for $47 but for a limited time only, you can grab it for free. Unlock the full potential of your mind with this free package at http://www.mindsecretsexposed.com/freegifta.html


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The Great News Is I'm Weird - Part 2 of 2

Yesterday's post showed just how weird I am. By the end of today's post, you'll know why being weird is great, and how to embrace your own inner weirdness.

How does the weirdness I told you about yesterday play-out in real life?

Some people look at me blankly when I tell them what I do (helping people who love the sea to upgrade their lives), and say "Wouldn't you be better off getting a job in marine conservation" or "Does anyone else feel like you do about being at the coast?" They don't get it, and that's absolutely fine. They go talk to someone else and enjoy their conversation about their passion, and we're all happy with that outcome.

But the fantastic outcome, is that when I mention it to people who do get it, boy they really get it! We chat for hours and both have a feeling of "I'm OK, you're OK"; we often get all excited talking about the sea, or fish, or diving; and we both go away from with big smiles on our faces, feeling energised.

Now what would have happened if I'd pretended I was different to how I am? I wouldn't have connected to the other off-beat person, and the first person would have unconsciously sensed I wasn't being myself and felt uncomfortable without knowing why.

Multiply that one occasion by several weeks, months, years, or a lifetime. All that time I'd be wasting lots of energy hiding my real self, and I'd be missing out on 1,000s of opportunities to do things I enjoy, to do things I'm good at, to spend time with people who get me, and so on.

What does all this have to do with you?

When you take that plunge and say "Here I am world, take it or leave it", you get to stop wasting your time & energy on things that give you a sinking feeling, and instead spend your time and energy on connecting with people and life choices that do float your boat.

Are there risks in that? Sure. Will you have to deal with change? Yes. Is it going to be uncomfortable or painful? Possibly. But look at the rewards:

greater happiness;

less guilt & loneliness;

more fun;

more energy;

less feeling all at sea;

more external success, as you match what you do with what you love.

Making it real

Looking back over your week, in what situations did you squash your real self to avoid seeming weird, or to fit in?

What would have felt liberating to say or do instead?

How can you connect with people, ideas, or activities that encourage you to express the real you?

Care to share what makes you "weird" in the comments section below, or to email me if you want to keep things confidential? I'd love to hear about the things, ideas, & attitudes that make you wonderfully unique.

Remember, every time you take the step of claiming your you-ness, others appreciate it, and feel able to do the same.

My coaching has helped people: enjoy free-time & family-time despite busy lives; get more customers; be more confident; know their priorities and live by them; deal with stressful life events; earn money doing what they love; bring the sea into their lives; uncover what's been holding them back and stop doing it; and more.

The sea is in all aspects of my life, from my coaching (I help people who love the sea to get the lives and businesses they want); through my spare time (I scuba dive & volunteer); and into my home (I'm sewing, crafting & up-cycling to give my home a beach hut look).

I practise tithing, i.e., giving 10% of my pre-tax income: by donating to marine charities, & via selected pro-bono coaching.


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The Value Of Self Improvement

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."
- Mahatma Gandhi

One of my greatest values is to be life long learner. I love to learn and feel that constantly learning new things is an essential and critically important part of life.

As an entrepreneur of a small business, it's part of your "job" to learn various aspects of your business. Even if you delegate or outsource various parts of your business, it's still your responsibility to know how to be an effective and productive entrepreneur that can lead and direct your company toward its overall goals.

Just like everything else in life that you want success in, you have to learn it.

And even if you're life long learner too, there will always be a place of "we don't know what we don't know." The absolute best thing you can do for yourself is to always work on improving something. This could be from a personal perspective or a business perspective. Since you really can't separate personal and business when it comes to who you are fundamentally, whether you take a personal wellness workshop or a professional development workshop, you are still improving the common denominator in both areas,

YOU!

So you can't go wrong.

Ask yourself some simple questions:
What have I always wanted to know more about?
What area in my business could use improvement?
How can I learn something that can help others?
If money was not a limiting factor, what would I most like to do?
Question four is my favorite because it opens up possibilities that many people have never considered. I come across quite a few people who limit themselves due to finances therefore they end up trying to fit into a mold that isn't their own and they are not as happy as they would like to be. If you find this to be your situation, I would bet you are more capable of fulfilling your dream than you ever thought. So explore it!

Here's my advice:
Spend 30 minutes every day reading about something new you want to learn or improve upon.
Take a self-fulfillment class. (a.k.a. as self-improvement)
Sign up for a workshop or seminar to improve a specific business skill.

Being a life long learner is a good habit to get in to. What you learn is something that no one can ever take away from you and it will benefit you in every aspect of your life. Happy Learning!

Angelina Campos is the founder of Own Your Ambition, formerly Campos Coaching. Known for her amazing insight and natural knack for understanding, she has the unique ability to help others discover and focus on their untapped potential to create otherwise unimaginable success in business. Visit http://www.ownyourambition.com/ to schedule an appointment with Angelina.


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The Ways Leadership and Motivation Will Improve Productivity

The presence of leadership and motivation in the workplace leads to a major increase in productivity of your workers. At any given time, workers aren't giving 100% of what they're capable of. Even a 5-10% increase in productivity across the board would result in huge profit increases.

Though good natural leaders can be hard to come by, training is available to help develop the traits present in those in leadership positions. The presence of someone who knows not only what is going on at any given time, but who can track what needs to be done next, influences those around them to follow suit.

Of course, there's also the aspect of feeling watched. Humans, by nature, will feel the need to work harder and more efficiently when under supervision from a person they consider to be an authority figure. If the authority figure can lend direction to their projects as well, an increase in productivity is guaranteed almost 100% of the time.

It's important as well to ensure open and honest communication between team leaders and those under their direct and indirect supervision. Employees should feel as though they an approach their superiors with questions without fear of judgement or repercussion. If your workers feel that they know what they're doing in regards to specifics on a given assignment, they will gain confidence in their abilities and the work they produce. This reduces the opportunity and odds of mistakes and increases efficiency for the company as a whole.

The ability for superiors to voice the next steps in the project is also essential. Leadership training can help establish proper ways of communicating assignments to ensure clarity in guidelines. Open communication is the best way you can boost company output. Leaving no stone unturned diminishes the odds of failure and error.

Unmotivated employees are unproductive employees. There are many ways you can help to motivate your staff depending on the results you'd like to see. Positive reinforcement has been proven to be more beneficial to motivation than fear for a number of reasons, the most important of which is trust. An employee who fears for their job will put in just enough effort to not get fired, but an employee who feels they are secure in their job and who has the possibility of reward for good work will put in the extra time to make sure projects are done properly.

If timeliness is the factor you'd like to stress the most to employees, adding an early or on time bonus for completed work will motivate them to schedule their time properly to ensure completion. Similarly, if error-free work is required, competitions for the best client review or least time spent correcting their work will motivate them to not only finish the project with no errors, but to do it to the best of their ability, resulting in better quality work. Naturally, a combination of these rewards will result in not only timely, but high quality output.

Leadership and motivation are essential to the productivity and quality of work produced by a company. Open communication chains and the possibility of a bonus for fast or good work will help to ensure both efficiency and higher productivity. These tactics will result in a bigger return for the company as a whole, benefitting all involved.

Click Here to download your FREE "Life Success Secrets" package. It normally sells for $47 but for a limited time only, you can grab it for free. Discover the secrets to a fuller, richer life with this free package at http://www.universallifesecrets.com/freegifta.html


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The Factors to Consider When Giving For Charity

Giving is a life principle that will always bear fruit. If you have some extra money, you can choose to be a responsible member of the community by donating to a charity of your choice. This will mean sharing your fortunes with others by offering your support to their causes. Nevertheless, choosing the right group can prove challenging. There are certain pitfalls that need to be avoided when choosing a charitable organization. The factors to consider when giving for charity include:

· Personal experience

Donors choose a charity based on their past and present personal experiences. An illness or other traumatic events that may have arisen may have caused you to go out looking for assistance from a charity. The time arises when you wish to give back to the charity.

· Personal interest

The charitable organization that you get to choose is usually based on your likes and preferences. Therefore, a lover of dogs will usually donate to animal shelters for dogs within their locality while a religious person chooses to donate to their local church.

· Find out about the expenses

A charity may be good as far as you know. However, you might feel cheated if you find out later that most of the donations go out to pay for salaries for top officers and the personnel who called you up to make your contribution. According to expert advice, efficient groups will normally spend a minimum of 65% of the donations to support the causes. The percentage may be lower for charities that are known to support controversial causes including abortion rights. This is attributed to the fact that such groups experience troubles raising money.

· Volunteer

One of the ways of getting information about a charitable organization is to consider volunteering before submitting your donations. Hands-on experience will give you important information pertaining to how well an organization is managed. Furthermore, you get an opportunity to find out how effectively the group is accomplishing its mission. You find out whether the organization's advocacy, services or programs are making a difference. By volunteering your time, participate in a fundraiser or working in the committee you get to find out how effective the organization is.

· Protect yourself

Make sure to protect yourself by avoiding to give out personal or credit card information that is in response to door-to-door, e-mail or phone appeals. The group may be fraudulent. Furthermore, avoid giving cash- it is advisable to mail a cheque to the group.

We provide the best info about charitable giving on http://www.mygoodness.com/. For further details, visit the provided links.


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The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air School of Seduction

Have you ever watched those old TV shows back in the 90's and 80's. Well, one of the most popular of them all was "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air." Despite being several years old now, the show still has a lot of fans, particularly among those who were still in their teens when the show was still airing.

One of the most defining characteristics of the show was how Will Smith constantly hit on girls. Like Fonzie from Happy Days, Will Smith was the stereotypical cool guy. These kinds of characters, not only have great pick up lines, they also have the right facial expressions and body language to pull off a unique type of charismatic charm. Even in situations where he seems to get rejected, he still manages to remain at ease with himself.

Obviously, most of the guys we see on TV are over the top and surreal characters, but they can still teach us a thing or two on how to be attractive and assertive men. Most of the protagonists we see on TV, including Will Smith, approach women without even thinking about it. This impulsiveness may not always work, but it can be very attractive once you master it.

In Will Smith's case, he had a very flamboyant charm, somewhat similar to a young boy who will rush to open his presents under a Christmas Tree. In almost every episode, Will Smith expresses his mind spontaneously and without any thought to the consequences. Although this kind of behavior leads to outrageous situations, it's also what makes his character interesting. It's an attitude that simply say, "I won't be ignored."

In various episodes, Will Smith jumps, screams and makes unusual facial expressions, much to the consternation of the supporting characters. From the perspective of the audience, of course, such antics are pure entertainment. You will notice, for example, how some of the girls in the cast can't keep serious expressions, and will literally laugh and smile even when they're not supposed to. When this happens, the cameras immediately go back to Will Smith.

Now, this doesn't mean that you should turn yourself into a clone of Will Smith or even into a clone. What it does mean is that you need to act on your instincts. This is because women enjoy a highly animated personality. So if you want to flirt like an expert, try to unwind a little. Be playful, cheerful and when the opportunity is right, just say the first thing that comes into your head. The results may even surprise you.

Becoming a spontaneous, care free guy takes some practice. It's not something that you can master in one day, and it requires actually talking to women regularly. This may discourage some guys, but you should also remember that being spontaneous is its own reward. It shows that you are assertive, strong and very open about who you are. Most women like these qualities and they will consider you more attractive for it. So remember, be your own Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

By the way, do you want the simple secret for approaching any woman, anywhere and know exactly what to say to get her number?

If so, download my free report here: conversation blueprint report

Or do you want to learn how I use text to attract and seduce beautiful women - and how you can too? If so, read this report here: 7 Deadly Texting Secrets


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Why Procrastination-Dissolving Techniques Fail

I will start by boldly stating I do not believe in procrastination. But to do justice to such a declaration I must first provide some background before explaining my stand on this matter.

A widely recurring phenomenon, procrastination has been researched by both psychologists and physiologists from many angles. It is generally accepted that there are two forms of procrastination: an active one, which involves delaying a task to induce psychological flow and is correlated with thrill-seeking, and a passive one, which is described by the avoidance of disliked tasks, the preference for immediate gratification and indecisiveness.

With regard to psychology, procrastination has often been associated with low self-confidence and an aversion to the task that must be completed. A frequent connection to impulsive behavior has also been observed, although that has only been tied to passive procrastination.

How it translates into our physiology?

It seems that procrastination is a tug of war between two parts of the brain: the limbic system and the prefrontal cortex. The limbic system - the "old mammalian" brain - is involved in feelings of pleasure that are related to our survival, driving us to choose "immediate mood repair, usually at the expense of long-term goals," as Timothy A. Pychyl, PhD, author of The Procrastinator's Digest: A Concise Guide to Solving the Procrastination Puzzle describes. In contrast, the prefrontal cortex is a newer and more advanced part of the brain, which, among others, deals with complex cognitive behavior, planning, and decision making, while also participating in impulse control.

Now from my understanding, what we call procrastination is actually a biological response to a forced inoculation of values that do not belong to us. It is neither a question of our intellect and psyche conspiring against us, nor of our physiology causing our behavior.

Axiology covers this better.

The driving force in our lives is a personal value system in which there is a hierarchy of values that establishes the types of decisions we make, whether they be conscious or unconscious ones. These values are individual and they filter our reality through our senses. This is why your reality never seems to be the same as your parents', your partner's, your friends'. It is why we judge other people. Why we "procrastinate". Moreover, this hierarchy of values describes our telos, what ancient philosophers considered a person's purpose.

It is my view that what we see as procrastination is merely a sign that we are trying to do something we do not value. That for some reason we are trying to live by other people's values. The best solution isn't hunting for techniques and how to's that will not work indefinitely (yet somehow manage to frustrate us further when they do stop working); the best solution is working to understand yourself better.

What are your values?

What is common to the things that make you happiest/proudest/most fulfilled? How do you spend your money/time/energy? What do you think/dream/talk about? What are your short-term/long-term goals? What do you want to experience in your life? How do you want to grow? How do you want to contribute to the world? Among these questions there are recurring themes that reveal your core values, which are the top values you live your life by and make decisions according to. Write down the answers to those questions (about 3-5 answer per question) and filter the results. What you get is what your unconscious mind is guided by.

It was Freud's belief that the unconscious mind has its own agenda. From my research, that agenda is fulfilling one's telos, which is based on our values. Therefore, while our telos is most definitely the architect of our lives, there is a loud/silent builder that dictates the steps towards implementing the blueprint. This builder is either our consciousness or your unconscious mind. Which one of them we let guide us determines whether we live our lives by our highest values consciously or... not. It determines whether we are happy or unhappy with our own decisions and behavior. Because rest assured: no matter what, we live by our highest values.

The bottom line is this: if we follow our own value system consciously, we have Health, Wealth, Fulfillment - the "Riches" envelope Andrew Carnegie was talking about; if, however, we try to live by other people's values, what we get is Frustration, Fear, Disappointment, Doubt, Worries, and... procrastination. In other words: the "Penalties" envelope.

So to my knowledge, procrastination is nothing but a symptom of the failure to analyze ourselves, to find our own values and purpose (telos), the failure to take action towards accomplishing our goals, and the expectation to live by values other than our own.

To rehash:

1. Procrastination is not a fault, but a symptom.

2. Procrastination shows us in what aspects of our life we have inserted values other than our own.

3. To eliminate procrastination we must first know our values. The Delphic maxim "Know thyself" is not mere witticism, you know.

4. We can counter procrastination by analyzing the types of things we usually postpone/avoid, find their common denominator and work diligently to delegate those tasks to other people - who value them, while increasing the number of activities we have value (interest) in to ensure a healthy flow of fulfillment.


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Where Are You Coming From?

In your day-to-day, moment-to-moment life, you operate from only one of two places: fear or love. If you look closely you'll see that your actions have, at their root, some flavor of one or the other of these. There are many flavors of fear: worry, concern, anger, spite, revenge, hatred, jealousy, envy, inferiority, etc. Flavors of love include appreciation, joy, kindness, caring, inspiration, compassion, trust, etc.

Why is this important? Because where you are coming from determines your results and experience in life; the roots drive the fruits. For example, if you act out of fear, more fear is created in the world. If you act out of love, more love is created in the world - YOUR world. Where you are coming from is CRITICAL with respect to what you are creating more of in the world.

Most of the actions we see in the world today are rooted in a fear of some kind; that fear is basically of "something bad happening." The fear causes you to take the action to try to prevent that awful "something" from occurring.

Let's take a simple example: If you fear that someone will disapprove of you if you don't dress and look a certain way, you will dress and look that certain way out of fear of that disapproval. Your experience of being alive is now colored by the avoidance of this fear "of something bad happening" - fear is now running your life, not you. This is very different than dressing and looking the way you want to dress and look with NO FEAR of whether others will approve or disapprove of you. In this way you are coming from love.

In this example, if your actions come from fear, that fear is running your life and "making you" do things you don't want to do. We might look a little closer and see that you don't trust other people, that you believe on some level that other people are mean and judgmental, and that in fact the world is an unfriendly place. That's a whole lot of fear that will be perpetuated BECAUSE that is the root of your action - by succumbing to this fear you AFFIRM the world is this way. You continue to reinforce your belief that you must do something you really don't want to do to avoid the terrible pain and suffering that is sure to befall you.

Now, in our example, when you come from love, you dress in the manner that truly suits YOU. There is great benefit and truth in this: First, you are honoring your true desire for how you want to dress and look in the world. And second, you are honoring the world at large, since you are not pre-judging the world out there as bad and wrong and mean. You are saying to yourself and the world, "It's OK to be me." You are being more loving to the world.

Now it might take some courage to come from love. Can you see that? It's easy to come from fear - since you either close down and protect yourself, thus avoiding others, or you become aggressive and dominate others. This is fight or flight, and neither requires any courage or vulnerability. In our example of choosing to dress in the way that pleases you, you must have courage and be vulnerable since it's possible others will judge and reject you. You must be prepared to once again CHOOSE TO COME FROM LOVE and allow them the freedom of their opinion without you now judging and condemning THEM. Ah, not so easy, right? But this is the practice of coming from love - and it feels SO GOOD TO LIVE THIS WAY, in all areas of life.

Now let's go a little deeper and look at why someone operates from fear or love. What is the source of fear or love? The source of fear is disconnection or separation from Great Spirit, your Higher Self. And the source of love is connection to Great Spirit, your Higher Self. Therefore, the key to coming from love, taking love-based actions, and creating more love in your world and the whole world, is finding your connection, a lasting connection, to Great Spirit.

Much of the world does not have a reliable, consistent, strong connection to the Source of their life: Great Spirit, Universal Intelligence, the Unified Field. They are disconnected and floating about in the deep sea like a ship without a rudder; no wonder they are terrified! When disconnected, life is about survival, about me and mine, about getting things, controlling things, and having some kind of personal pleasurable experiences. This is the root of fear-based actions and the root of "evil" itself: disconnection.

However, if you can get connected to your Higher Self, the Unified Field, to Source, you will experience all the love, trust, power, and joy that you need. And therefore YOU DON'T NEED TO GET IT FROM ANYONE OR ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. You are free! You are free to be your own, loving, awesome self. You are love, and you can choose to love others and the world regardless of how they may be - even, for example, if they negatively judge how you are dressed.

When connected to Source, you automatically come from love, which leads to you to take love-based actions, which creates more love in your world and the world at large. A win-win-win…. Awesome!

Try this:

Are you coming from fear or love? For each action you take over the next 24 hours pause to see where you are coming from. See if you can catch those actions - before you take them - that come from some kind of fear. Celebrate that you noticed a fear-based thought and its potential action, then choose to come from love instead. Ask "What would be a love-based action?" Then take that action and see what happens.

Congratulations - you're one step closer to your mojo!

Roger Kenneth Marsh is a Spiritual Life Coach & creator of the Major Good Mojo System. He has an engineering degree, MBA, is a Certified Life Coach, HeartMath® Provider, and Passion Test® Facilitator. Get his book "NexGen Human" on Amazon.com, and FREE CD "3 Keys to Major Good Mojo" at http://www.majorgoodmojo.com/free-cd


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The Skinny On Subliminal Weight Loss

Subliminal weight loss is possible in this day and age. A lot of effort has been put into making sure that products which use the subconscious technology to lose weight are manufactured as well. A huge number of skinny people, who were once struggling with being overweight or obese, can now be found. Moreover, these are people who have used the subconscious mind to develop mechanisms and strategies through which to lose weight and stay fit. The messages developed here, are geared towards reprogramming the mind to the possibility of weight loss.

Subliminal weight loss is effective in the sense that it uses what people have in plenty to achieve these results, using the subconscious mind. Rather than encouraging people to look for resources with which to buy equipments or tools for weight loss, it simply takes advantage of the subconscious. This method ensures that people who find dieting or exercising to not be their cup of tea, now have an alternative. Excessive weight is responsible for a number of health problems. If there is one extra strategy through which to eliminate this problem from people's lives, that is better.

The messages used in subliminal weight loss programs are designed to help promote healthy lifestyles. One of these is to encourage any person embarking on this venture to love fruits. These messages are meant to help you decide on the need for developing proper and healthy eating habits. A person is encouraged to embrace fitness, vitality, in addition to inner contentment. These messages will address matters to do with your physiology as well. The message is designed to help you develop healthy behavior, which speeds up any weight loss.

The mind has the ability to internalize things which you may not be able to recall and thrust you in the path of being overweight. If you take the time, you may finally remember what drove you into this kind of life. Once you find out what it is that is responsible for thrusting you into such a life, subliminal weight loss messages can be used to reprogram your mind. As soon as your mind has been reprogrammed, it is easier to abandon certain aspects of your life, which cause you to be overweight. Get these messages, and listen to them if you are struggling with weight issues.

Subliminal weight loss programs are effective. They will set you off on the path towards embracing a better lifestyle. You will not need to struggle with a lifestyle that seems to take you towards weight gain than your body can handle. As a matter of fact, it's easier to walk in freedom if you find that you had embraced behaviors in the past which only made you struggle with being excessively stout. Once you find victory in this area, continue to listen to the messages and keep yourself in the right frame of mind which means you're never at threat of being obese ever again in your life. That is the essence of these subliminal weight-loss programs.

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The Unexamined Life Is Examined With "The Work"

As I watched the entire "A New Earth Webinar" with Oprah and Eckhart Tolle, I often thought of the similarities between Tolle and Byron Katie. They were both clinically depressed before their parallel awakenings which changed both of them forever.

For most of us, if we are fortunate enough to have a spiritual experience, the effects may last several hours or several days at which time the effects recede and we return to normal everyday consciousness.

For both Eckhart and Katie, the effects of their awakening seemed to stay with them. Katie told Oprah, for instance, that she has never had a bad or depressed day, or even a moment of sadness in twenty-two years.

Tolle said the same thing in Oprah's webinar.

Katie explains that to the extent that any of us believe our thoughts, we suffer accordingly.

When we learn to question our thoughts, we experience immediate release and freedom.

She calls this level of questioning, "The Work."

If I love myself and love my experience and everyone in my life, these thoughts work for me, and do not need to be changed or questioned.

Katie said that love is the highest standard of a balanced mind.

But thoughts like, "He doesn't love me," or "I should lose weight," or "I am a bad person," or "You are a bad person," are thoughts that when held up to the light of Inquiry, simply lose their strength and meaning.

These are the four questions that Byron Katie uses for her process of Inquiry, to each thought that brings suffering:

1) Is it true?

2) Can I absolutely know without doubt that it is true?

3) How do I react when I think that thought?

4) Who would I be without the thought?

Then the thought is turned around.

Katie said that defense is the first act of war. When we ask these questions of our thoughts, a shift occurs, a liberation.

No longer am I concentrating on what other people think, what they are doing, or saying.

In other words, according to Katie, I am focused on minding my own business, not anyone else's business, not even God's business. Figuring out what is right for me is a full time job. Minding my own business takes tremendous focus and concentrate.

Katie said she did not suffer at the time of her mother's death. She dropped her schedule and stayed by her mother's side. As she was dying, Katie looked into her mother's eyes and saw her leave this plane of existence. She did not feel sad, she felt only love. She was fully present for her mother in those last moments, and she said she felt very grateful for the experience.

Oprah went through a mini-session with Byron Katie.

Oprah said she has always struggled with her weight. She had gotten her weight down to where she was comfortable, was exercising and maintaining her weight.

Then she was diagnosed with a thyroid condition and her doctor told her she may as well get used to always being heavy.

Oprah said she believed the doctor, stopped working out, and in retrospect, realized she gave her power over to the doctor when he said those words, "You will always be heavy," instead of defining what it is she wanted for herself and her body.

So Oprah's thought for Inquiry was: "I am sick and tired of always struggling with my weight."

Is this true? Yes.

Can you absolutely know without doubt that this is true? After some thought she said, Well not absolutely.

How do you react when you think the thought, "I am sick and tired of always struggling with my weight?"

Oprah said she was frustrated, always thinking about what she is going to eat, whether she should or shouldn't drink alcohol at a party, feeling obsessed about food.

She says she wants to be a size 10, not size 14.

Is it true that your body is too large? Yes.

Can you absolutely know that it is too large? No can't be absolutely sure because it is large (and that is the reality).

What happens when you believe the thought, "My body is too large?" Oprah said she felt frustration as she compared her body to other bodies, just was frustrated and is sick of it.

How do you react when you believe the thought "My body is too large?" I eat more and am at war with myself.

Who would you be without the thought, "My body is too large?" I go to my closet and put on comfortable cloths that fit and go about my day. I'll eat when I eat. Only one person can be Oprah right here, right now.

Apply this Inquiry to every stressful thought, on paper, to achieve real freedom. Sit with these questions in a state of contemplation. As soon as you argue with it you miss the beauty of the process.

The inner war that arises from resisting what is- is fought on paper, going thoughtfully and honestly through the four questions and the turn around.

My body is too large? What is the turn around?

My body is perfect just the size it is. It serves me. It is not who I really am, the changeless "I," the soul. But I love it exactly as it is.

Another difficult thing for most people is learning to say "No." When people in Oprah's family ask her for money, she may give it to them but doesn't really want to. Katie said there are two parts to saying "no."

I care about you. I see that you may be in trouble. And I have to say, "no."

No one can take advantage of you without your permission. You must take responsibility for your life. You must decide who you want to please: Please yourself and mind your own business.

There is a difference between a prisoner screaming in his cell and the Buddhist monk who, when placed behind the bars of incarceration says, "Thank you."

Our birth right is freedom. Love is the new paradigm.

Self-realization, if lived, is "The Work."

Kate Loving Shenk is a writer, healer, musician and published author of the Prayer Prescription Series. She has been a nurse for 29 years. She believes all of us are healers, but few are willing to own their power. She also believes healing takes place all the time, whether we are conscious of it, or not.

In her report, "22 Keys To Self Healing," she helps you to access your own self-healing potential. You can get it free at her blog. http://katelovingshenk.com/


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Letting Go of the Past to Live in the Present

The sweat drips from my body onto the mat, already wet from 70 minutes of Hot Bikram Yoga. Yuk!! And now the teacher is imploring me and every other student in the session to 'let go' of the attachment we've made to the last posture. "Just let it go. It's over! Relax in savasana".

Savasana is a yoga position where you lie on your back on your mat completely still - still mind, still body. This in itself is really difficult - one wants to scratch, wipe the sweat away, and sense a muscle, the mind full of 'stuff'- random thoughts such as - "what's for supper?" "I must look at that... " "How's that presentation coming on?" "I wonder how my daughter is?"

But the greater temptation is to attach value and judgement to my efforts in the last posture! "Was it better than last time?" "Had I taken on board comments from the teacher and improved?" "Was I having a good/bad day?" "I wish I had made more effort at... ". So 'letting go' is the last thing I really want to do; I want to look back and indulge my emotions and not be in the present moment. Letting go of what has happened is such a difficult exercise. We hang on to thoughts, good and bad, as if our life depended on it. But once something is over, it's over - there is nothing you can do about it, it's over. You can understand the things you've learned from the experience and move on. Dwelling in a negative sense on something which is past has no merit. Understanding the importance of 'letting go'... and actually doing it... creates space and calm.

Many years ago I came across a poem attached to the wall of a café in Tasmania, a remote and sparsely populated island state in Australia. It was a list of such lovely exhortations with a positive spin, found in such a bizarre place, it begged to be copied and studied. There are many examples of 'letting go' that come to mind and those who read this column may begin to reflect on their own circumstances, their own experiences.

In the jobs we do, roles we undertake, companies we work for, we all make many and varied attachments. Since the 1990s, redundancy has sadly become a normal feature of the working environment; "Sorry, Simon, we're going to have to 'let you go'." After all the emotional turmoil these few words induce has eventually subsided, you understand that 'letting go' is not to deny, but to accept; accept that the decision's been made, look forward and hopefully you begin to feel free - but the key to that freedom is realistically looking at the attachments you made to that role, that job, that company, and letting them go, permanently.

As humans we are naturally driven towards establishing relationships; relationships wax and wane as sure as the phases of the moon. Sometimes ending a relationship is really really tough. And to 'let go' of the relationship requires one not to judge, but to allow the other to be a human being, to allow them to affect their destinies, to face reality. Easy to say, not easy to do; it hurts, letting go, but once you do a great sense of relief floods the body and mind.

I wanted Tom my Labrador dog to live forever!! He was so lovely, so gorgeous, but as he grew older and older I had to face the reality that life is finite, and in his case I would probably have to decide for him that his pain-free, carefree existence was over. Letting go of the negative memories of making that final decision and agonising over whether it was the right one (the "If only... "!) have allowed me to be thankful for the life that he had and the love that he gave.

We so often dwell in the past, where are memories are stored, and forget to try and live in the present, like in the savasana position in yoga. And there's a tendency to sometimes regret decisions we've made, paths we've taken, - "If only I had... ". Free yourself by 'letting go' and not regretting the past, but to grow and live for the future.

I recently 'down sized' to an apartment which has little storage space. I knew I had to 'let go' of things. In this case not take them to some half-way stage, a self-storage unit, a sort of 'left luggage', but to sell them, give them away, take them to the council tip. How hard was it? In reality, not too bad; if I hadn't used something for 5 years, it went. Furniture that didn't fit or was wrong for the place got sold, given away, painted. Books I had bought but never read, some I had read and were never going to read again, went to the Charity shop. Clothes went to same way. And gradually light and air is beginning to circulate within the enlarged space.

There are few more important guiding principles to the way we approach our lives than taking on board the exhortations of 'letting go'. As my daily yoga practice encourages me to 'let go' of those attachments I've made to a past posture and still the mind, outside of the studio those words found on the wall of the faraway café can bring a positive affect to anyone who cares to read them. Of course 'take each day as it comes, and cherish oneself in it.' and 'try to become what I dream I can be.' But above all try to stop being fearful, be "fear less", learn to truly relax "and love more."

Talking about relevant issues can help to let them go. Engaging a coach to assist can be a great step forward. Email at richard@richardyatesconsulting.com for more information.


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Learn the Tricks Women May Use to Keep You Away!

The response that a man may get from a woman may be very surprising and unbelievable. I never knew that women could say anything to keep a man off. They are even willing to say anything shameful you may think of about themselves to ensure that a man does not initiate any chats with them. The words a woman may use to describe herself may only be meant to make you uninterested with her and they may not be true. I came to know this the other day, when I went with my friend for a night out.

Below is a summary of what we experienced during the session.

While with my friend, we noticed a group of three, hot girls who were also hanging out and we decided to initiate some chats with them. We exchanged the basic information about ourselves and while still introducing themselves, two of the girls confessed that they were lesbian partners. ''lesbians' I asked myself, I had never imagined that I would meet a lesbian in my life, leave alone dating one. I lost interest in the discussion. It is true that the girls were beautiful but on mentioning that they they were lesbians, the feelings, interests and even thoughts that I had developed in them were driven away from me. My friend seemed not to believe them and I was surprised. I even demanded that we leave them immediately but he still continued to get busy with them.

The day we met the girls brought some teachings in my life. I came to learn that the women we see might not be thinking what we expect them to think of. I managed to learn this after having a discussion with my friend. The reason why my friend continued talking with them was that he knew that the girls were not necessarily lesbians but they were only trying to discourage us. They only chose to mention that shameful thing with the hope of driving us away. Such responses from women are common especially in clubs and men should be prepared to handle them. Otherwise, as a man you will end up saying I have not found a woman.

What to do if you receive such responses from women?

First, you have to acknowledge the reply you get. Tell the girl that you like her confidence and openness. You should show an appreciation of her openness. By doing that, you will be setting the base for the discussion and therefore at that point, the girl will start to open up since she has noticed that you have some interest in her. It is important to know that all women are similar and they tend to respond to similar situations in almost similar ways. For example, how many women have told you that they have boyfriends when you try to seduce them? It could be true that they have boyfriends but even those who do not have will use the same excuse. The trick here is that you should persevere and try as much as you can to progress the discussion.

By the way, do you want the simple secret for approaching any woman, anywhere and know exactly what to say to get her number?

If so, download my free report here: conversation blueprint report

Or do you want to learn how I use text to attract and seduce beautiful women - and how you can too? If so, read this report here: 7 Deadly Texting Secrets


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Learning To Love Yourself

Making the decision to love yourself is a tough but important one to make. It is only at the point that somebody chooses to love herself that she can move forward happily with her life.

One of the first steps on the way to self-love is to think about all the things that make a person great. People can nurture themselves by thinking of things they enjoy about themselves. They should also understand how important it is to become their own best friend and to genuinely enjoy their own company. Making mistakes is an important part of self-acceptance.

On the journey to finding self-love, every little step counts. Staying motivated can help somebody by allowing her to acknowledge even her smallest accomplishments. These small accomplishments add up, and soon there is undeniable progress and effort. It is hard to build up this sense of self-trust, but it is vital.

Learning to love yourself also requires one to stop worrying about the past and forgive any minor blips that have already occurred. Forgiveness and letting bygones be bygones are important factors involved in self-acceptance. There is no use crying about things that nobody can go back in time to change. Working toward a brighter future is the key. If somebody focuses her efforts on making do with what is actually possible, relaxation and love are easier to come by.

Learning to share gratitude and kindness with others helps to create love in two ways. Not only will others learn to love the person who initially shared with them, but the sharer will also feel better about it. Participating in random acts of kindness is also a big confidence booster, as it helps to build a strong sense of value for oneself.

Taking care of the body is essential to living a long, happy and healthy life. It is more important for somebody to look the way she wants to look than to adhere to another person's standard of beauty. Health is not as objective as many people like to think, so it is a good idea to consider making doctor, dentist and psychologist appointments if it is necessary.

Mental health is just as important as physical health when it comes to finding self-love. While seeing a counselor or therapist is the best way to seek professional guidance, it is also a good idea to begin journaling. Keeping a daily log of thoughts and activities is a great way to build insight and keep track of memories for years to come.

If one is able to see beauty where others do not, or to acknowledge that every single thing has some beauty to it, she is one step closer to finding self-love. Becoming happy with what one can actually receive and not worrying about material possessions is essential to finding a sense of happiness and self-worth.

The road to loving yourself is not as difficult as it may seem. Those who take action by being selfless, insightful and self-aware are more likely to achieve their goals than those who stay oblivious. Understanding the road to self-love and self-respect are the key components on this journey.

Are you a woman and you want to learn how to gain confidence and love yourself more? You don't have to be alone on this journey. Our programs will teach you how to grow your self confidence as you learn from women who are experts at different aspects of living a successful life joyfully. Join our community where you can learn about women loving yourself.


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Letting Go: What Does Letting Go Mean To You?

When it comes to living life in the present moment and being free from attachments to the past and to specific outcomes in the future; letting go is often spoken about as the ideal. And through letting go, one can then allow life to flow. Also, as a result of this, a lot of the stress that can accumulate by holding on will disappear.

However, while this sounds like a wonderful idea and one that is extremely appealing; it is often far from what feels comfortable and natural. In fact, to do this can feel uncomfortable and something that has the potential to be extremely dangerous.

So although letting go can make life a lot easier, more effortless and allow even better things to happen than one would have expected; It might seem strange that letting go is not the naturally approach to life.

Personal Meaning

The meaning of letting go can sound very good through reading about it in a book, in an article or through a teacher and at a conscious level. But, this is not to say that it is associated to be positive at an unconscious level.

And this is the meaning that makes the difference in one's life; the personal meaning. Other people can describe it as the ideal and as what one should aspire to. And yet, this is unlikely to make any difference if it is in conflict with what's going on at a deeper level.

A Deeper Level

Here, the ego mind forms associations around everything and once these have been formed; they will define what is classed as familiar and therefore safe. These are often formed during ones childhood and through certain experiences that one has as an adult.

Now, at the time, these would have been what allowed one to feel safe. The challenges are created when what kept one safe at one point in their life; go on to create unnecessary pain and suffering.

Examples

So let's take a look at some common emotional experiences that can occur when one thinks about letting go. The ideal meaning of letting go is to feel supported, safe and that one can trust in the whole process. However, letting go can also mean the following:

· That one will be taken advantage of
· That one will have no power
· That one will be abandoned
· That one will lose all control
· That one will be forgotten about
· That one will be ignored
· That one will end up being controlled
· That one will end up alone
· That one will lose everything
· That one will lose themselves

These are some examples of what letting go can trigger for people. And upon seeing what some of these are; it is then not much of a surprise as to why letting go can be such a challenge.

Perception

For as long as the ego mind associates letting go to mean any of the above or to mean anything else for that matter; one will continue to avoid letting or they will have a hard time doing it.

Internally these associations will be fired of and lead to uncomfortable sensations, emotions and words for instance. And externally this can result in one attracting situations that will mirror and validate these associations.

Letting Go

And before one feels comfortable letting go, it may be necessary for one to let go of what has accumulated within. If these associations are operating within, one is going to find it difficult to trust in the process.

The best way to do this will depend on many different things. And one of those is how challenging this is for someone. It could be that some kind of therapy, coaching or healing is needed. Or it may be enough for one to simply become aware of what letting go means to them and then choosing another way to be.

My name is Oliver J R Cooper and I have been on a journey of self awareness for over nine years and for many years prior to that I had a natural curiosity.

For over two years, I have been writing articles. These cover psychology and communication. This has also lead to poetry.

One of my intentions is to be a catalyst to others, as other people have been and continue to be to me. As well as writing articles and creating poetry, I also offer personal coaching. To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

Feel free to join the Facebook Group -
https://www.facebook.com/OliverJRCooper


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Tips To Consider When Choosing a Charity

Our world is in crisis and therefore, many excellent causes have been unveiled to combat the misfortunes. Charitable giving is recommended highly by every organization on earth. However, it can be challenging to choose which charitable organization to donate to. You may be wondering whether it is right to support an environmental group that has just come knocking or the children's home that has sent you heart wrenching pictures of orphans. The tips to consider when choosing a charity include:

· Give to a charity you know

According to expert advice, it is important to give to a group that you know. Avoid giving your hard-earned money to strangers. As long as you know the charity and the work that they are involved in, you will have a high degree of confidence that your donation will be channeled to good use.

· Make sure the organization is the one that you think it is

The organization that you choose may be doing nothing for the local community. The charity that says it supports wishes for destitute children could have adopted a name that is similar to a well-respected organization. Therefore, it is important not to assume you know the charitable organization and what it does.

· Make sure the charitable organization is legitimate

In verifying the legitimacy of the charity, you may consider the list that is provided by the tax man. Find out whether the organization is registered as a charity. You can also consider checking with the charities bureau that is responsible for policing charitable organizations within the state. They are an important resource that offers a wealth of information pertaining to charities.

· Find out whether the gift is tax deductible

Some of the nonprofit organizations that seek to solicit gifts from the public are not charities. Therefore, you will not be able to deduct your contribution at tax time.

· Understand the organization's work

Different charities handle life challenges in different ways. For instance, charities that seek to lower the number of teen pregnancies can do so by advancing sexual abstinence, supporting programs that build self-esteem among teenage girls or teaching sex education. Therefore, you may need to support a group that addresses a cause using a methodology that addresses your needs.

· Ask questions

Charitable organizations need to provide information pertaining to their programs as well as expenses. Find out by asking how your giving will be spent. Also find out how many people were assisted over the past year and in what way they were assisted. If you are not satisfied with the answers do not give.

We provide the best info about shop for a cause. For further details on this topic, click here!


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Trigger Your Mind's Growth Using These Top 3 Mind Teaser Games

In the modern world, high technology has brought sophistication in all areas of life. The brain, being the most important part of humans in running the technology, has to keep up with the pace. One way of doing this is through mind teasing that enhances brain activity. As generations develop, people are getting more interested in keeping mental abilities top notch by keeping the minds busy.

Brain teaser or mind teaser activities are mostly used to stimulate the brain to either affirm the already established networks, or establishing new ones. The only way to update old pathways or create new ones is to do an older thing or a new thing in a new way. For instance, one can play a game that he/she has not played before. For example, for one who is an expert in playing cards, it is to try out filling puzzles. The following are three mind teaser games that one can try out:

Scrabble:

This is a board game most favored by board game lovers. This is because it offers a lifetime enjoyment to the player. In addition, it helps the player acquire new skills and words in the world of playing and hence, help him/her learn new words and definitions. This mind teaser game improves the memory of the player and at the same time, his/language skills. Lastly, it puts the brain into exercise; the brain muscles for them to will gain capability to accommodate information in a long term.

This mind teaser game offers health benefits by encouraging the brain to come up with new patterns through use of logic. This develops into complex natural networks in the long run. Therefore, continuous playtime of scrabble leads to increased brainpower, increased number of skill possessed and developed concentration. This is an important factor in personality development. Another advantage associated with this brain teaser game is that it does not matter what level of skill one has; one can quickly learn and get to powerful and complex word combinations.

Puzzles and crossword

Crossword is a mind teaser game that enlightens the mood and keeps one's mind on top notch.

In normal circumstances, as people go on their daily businesses, they encounter both simple and complex problems. When these problems bombard the mind and begin to clog, the only solution that people opt to is moving to the next problem.

However, crossword encourages the player to see and solve all problems as a complex word puzzle, such that they should be seen from beginning to the end; such that by solving one problem, that particular problem becomes a solution to the next one and so on.

The benefits for brain teaser game is well documented for experts in several fields such a computer programming, writing, engineering and teaching.

Sudoku

Sudoku is another mind game teaser that deals with numbers, but does not need any arithmetic or calculating expertise. It is merely a game of logic and sequence, which involves placing of numbers in their correct order along the grid. This mind teaser provides both fun and challenge, both of which upgrade the brain functioning.

Click Here to download your FREE "Secrets Of The Subconscious" package. It normally sells for $47 but for a limited time only, you can grab it for free. Unlock the full potential of your mind with this free package at http://www.mindsecretsexposed.com/freegifta.html


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Things I Have Learned

I have learned:

1. I am not the titles I wear.

2. Being retrenched could be my rebirth.

3. That nothing is perfect.

4. That I have more strength than I imagined.

I am not the titles I wear. To outsiders I am a wife, mother, sister, best friend and Operations Manager, but at one point the responsibility that comes along with these roles took over my life. I had no idea what I was really feeling besides overwhelmed. I have now learned that I need to take care of myself in order to care for everyone else.

Being retrenched could be my rebirth. I did not make the decision to end my employment but I have come to realize that it was one the best things that has ever happened to me. In hindsight, I discovered 10 years of an emotionally stressful job had changed me, and not for the better. So I embraced the opportunity to learn about myself and dove into watching my son grow. That I can reinvent myself at any age.

That nothing is perfect, not even myself, and that's something to celebrate. I used to think that if I followed the rules and stayed silent, my life would run in a straight line, It doesn't work this way. I have had to face detours, and dirt roads, and to my surprise, those moments have bought out the best in me.

That I have more strength than I imagined. My dad was diagnosed with Cancer - Carcinoma of the Cheek, soon after my son was born, after that my mom had a stroke, soon after our 34 years family home burnt to the ground and I got retrenched. I was devastated but now, 5 months later, we are living our new normal; battling cancer, raising a wonderful child, a recovered mom physically and maintaining a loving marriage. In my quiet moments, I feel astounded that we have found the inner resources to survive.

Now I take limitations in stride and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size. Nelson Mandela said, "I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one finds many more hills to climb. I have taken a moment here to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me, to look back on the distance I have come but I rest only for a moment for with freedom comes responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not yet ended.


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Truly Enjoying Safe Identity

"Attachment is the great fabricator of allusions; reality can be obtained only by someone who is detached."
~Simone Weil (1909-1943)

This article presents a simple idea: that safe identity - true peace of soul - is only obtainable when we reach a sufficient level of detachment from fear. Only in becoming detached from our fear can we go on to truly enjoy the wondrousness of reality. And this is what life - the abundant, eternal life of Jesus - is all about: living reality such that we are wedded to truth despite its personal costs.

It's a courageous life.

Before we can venture on in the study of safe identity - detachment from fear - which leads to the capacity to live in reality, we need to explore fear.

A STUDY OF THE SOURCES OF FEAR

There are two sources of fear: fear of intimacy and fear of being abandoned (or of being dismissed). This is really an exposé of Attachment Theory 101. Its thesis is very simple:

If we're attached to intimacy, we fear being dismissed. If, on the other hand, we're attached to being dismissive, we fear intimacy. Most of us have a blend of both, but typically one more than the other.

So our core fears surround two things: a fear of intimacy and/or the fear of abandonment.

We can liken the goal of reconciling these two sources of fear to leaving home without concern and returning home with gladness. Both leaving home and returning home are hence safe ideas.

UNBLOCKING THE PASSAGE TO SAFE IDENTITY

Fear is the thing the blocks clear passage to safe identity - that sense-of-self which can enjoy peace, have access to joy, that thrives on hope, and is able to love.

In living the Fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) we have wrangled with our fear and reconciled ourselves to sufficient control - with God's abiding help - over it. This is achievable, but only within the context of dealing with our twofold fear of intimacy and of being rejected.

It is common to fear one more than the other. If we are particularly anxious by nature we fear being dismissed (the fear of abandonment), but if we are perhaps considered aloof (unapproachable or standoffish) we fear intimacy.

Unblocking the passage to safe identity is becoming aware what we fear most and finding ways to reconcile our fears.

When we fear abandonment (being rejected) our challenge is to reconcile ourselves to the truth when it does appear we are being rejected, when in fact we may not be. We are sensitive to rejection and perhaps oversensitive. Our opportunity is to become less sensitive; to enjoy more distance without its presenting anxiety.

When we fear intimacy our challenge is to desire relationships and to get intentionally closer to people more. The opportunity is to take risks in getting closer to people and situations, without fear that we will lose our autonomous control.

***

Enjoying safe identity - the peace of soul and safe-sense-of-self - is about enjoying reality unencumbered by fear. Two fears need to be challenged: the fear of intimacy and the fear for abandonment. We are challenged more by one than the other.

Enjoying safe identity is truly about harnessing our fears of intimacy and abandonment. When we enjoy close relationships and don't feel prone to being rejected by those relationships, safe identity is ours at last.

© 2013 S. J. Wickham.

Steve Wickham is a Registered Safety Practitioner and holds Degrees in Science, Divinity, and Counselling. Steve writes at: http://epitemnein-epitomic.blogspot.com.au/ and http://tribework.blogspot.com.au/


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Thoughts Are Not Facts

"How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg." -Abraham Lincoln

I can't tell you how often I hear people say things to me when describing themselves, their situation, their perfect partners and their lives that simply aren't true. In reality, they are lies.

Sorry, but, they make things up in their minds as if what they are saying is true and they spout them out with such passion and emotion that you may even start to believe them too.

They typically repeat these thoughts to themselves over and over again and speak them aloud to whoever will listen. It's like self-brainwashing. They can go on and on about how great their ex was, how good their relationship was, and how they'll never meet anyone that they'll love like them.

Or, they'll put themselves down and say things like; how they are a loser, a failure, will never meet anyone again, will never find a job, never lose weight, will never get what they want from life etc.

When the truth is that many of these people are very successful and not failures, they aren't losers- the only thing they've lost is a sense of who they really are, the other person wasn't that great and if they are honest with themselves they'd see it too.

And, the only way they won't meet someone again is if they're dead, and they will never get what they want from life because they keep telling themselves they won't.

Your thoughts may seem to be real to you, they may feel real and you may have even convinced yourself that they are real. But the truth is you can't deny the facts.

And the real facts are that when you repeat these false statements over and over to yourself regardless of whether they are true or not be prepared to live with the consequences of low self-esteem, needless suffering and prolonged anxiety.

The good news is that you have the power to control what you think and say. You can choose to phrase things with a negative, limiting spin of untruths and have a woe-is-me attitude. Or, you can choose the kinds of words that deal with the facts about yourself and your life coming from a place of honesty and truth.

For instance saying things like, I will never get what I want from life. Is that true? Just because you may not be where you want to be yet or have what you want who says you can't get what you want from life? You! Do you have a crystal ball that shows you all the doom and gloom and how you will never have what you want?

Instead use the power of focusing your thoughts on what you want, make a plan, look forward instead of backwards and know, and I mean really know deep down inside that good things are in your life? Look inside your crystal ball and see what you want instead of what you don't want!

Use your mind in a positive, powerful way and you will start to live more and suffer less. Learn how to flip the script when you start down Poor Me Lane and drive your thoughts to Life is Good Highway.

What you may not realize is that your thoughts create how you feel. Your thoughts are the number one reason you either heal or suffer, you love living or hate it, you move on or stay stuck, you feel good or bad or if you are happy or sad.

So the next time you hear yourself saying or thinking something, ask yourself is this really true? Is what I am saying or thinking based on facts or am I allowing my negative emotions to create a false sense of reality? You will be shocked at how often you are not telling yourself the truth and making up stories in your mind.

And the more you repeat these kinds of thoughts and words the better chance you will have in making them your reality by attracting into your life the very kinds of experiences you wish would never happen.

If the facts are that your thoughts can make you or break you and build your up or tear you down what kind of thoughts do you want to think?

Susan Russo is an author and coach who has helped people from around the world move beyond heartache and pain after their breakup or divorce. Would you like to heal your broken heart sooner rather than later? Find out exactly how with Susan's FREE copy of the 7 Steps to heal your broken heart.


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